


What if I say it?

by drjekyllandmrhyde10



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 14:19:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2776157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drjekyllandmrhyde10/pseuds/drjekyllandmrhyde10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take after Pray in the Abyss Vol 8 Ch 49</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first story created on my phone. Unbeta so please go easy and give constructive criticism

The ride home on Asami's limo is eerily quiet. No one wanted to speak and simply chose to keep their own thoughts to themselves. Akihito was pressed away from Asami while the latter chose to not approach him.

"We are near the penthouse Asami-sama." Suoh said in front. The car slowly descended to the parking lot and went to a complete stop. The moment that the locks were freed, Akihito immediately got out and went straight to the elevator, followed by Asami and Kirishima. The two men did not look at Akihito even if the man grudgingly scooted away from them.

The ride to the penthouse was awkward specially when Kirishima got off on the floor below their own and bid them goodnight. Akihito knew that Asami's other bodyguard that was left on the parking lot will follow the secretary momentarily. Once the elevator door closed, Akihito braced himself for the coming wrath.

"Akihito..." Asami started.

"I was not hurt Asami. Sudoh did not hurt me. You do not have to worry about me. Why don't you check on Prosecutor Kuroda instead." Akihito cut the other man and started his speech. He has been practicing this monologue while on the ride home knowing that the older man will fuss on him specially when he saw the bandages around his neck.

Asami glared at the young man but chose to be quiet until they went inside the penthouse. Akihito went straight to his room to take a bath but made sure that the door is locked. He is no way ready yet to have a confrontation with Asami. There are still some things that he needed to think about before he speaks to the man. All he wanted right now is a moment of silence and alone time.

As he stripped his clothes, he heard a soft knock on the other side of the bathroom. Disbelief came to him since he knew who it was. 

He hastily opened the door after robing himself. "How--?" Akihito saw the opened bedroom door with its lock destroyed. The door handle was dangling on its hinges. Akihito scowled and looked at Asami.

"Why are you not talking to me?" Asami demanded. His eyes were cold but his brows showed anger. Akihito scowled back and huffed.

"Because I want to take a bath and talking to you at the same time is next to impossible." He answered. He was looking at his bathroom slippers and did not even looked at the older man while he offered an explanation.

Asami immediately caught the young man's chin and lifted it. "How many times have I told you that you should look at me when you speak?" Asami whispered. He softly caressed the younger man's lower lip and looked straight at him.

Akihito narrowed his eyes. He doesn't want to get clouded on his resolution even if the first thing he really wanted is to feel those lips that are currently snarling at him.

"Let me rest Asami. I am tired. My arms were bound behind my back and I was like that for more than a couple of hours." He explained. Actually, it was the closest explanation he could give. Truthfully, he was aching all around and all he wanted to do now is to get cleaned and sleep. 

"You still did not answer my question." Asami whispered back. He saw the young man averted his eyes and there he knew that Akihito is hiding something from him. No matter what it takes, he will have the explanation tonight.

"Please Asami...let me go..." Akihito said tiredly. "I will talk to you tomorrow. You can ask me whatever you want and I will answer you truthfully..." He bargained. He knew that if he speaks to Asami the next day, he will be prepared.

Asami stared at Akihito for a couple of few seconds more and eventually nodded. He freed the young man's face and stepped back.

"You made your choice Akihito. Be sure to keep up with it." Asami went outside, pulled the bedroom door and left Akihito staring at the dark empty room.


	2. What am I afraid of?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihito was torn. He doesn't know if he's more afraid of Asami once the man knew what he feels or to himself once he admits everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if I should continue with this story. If I have enough comments, kudos and spark of ideas, I might. ^_^v

The next morning, Akihito stumbled to the kitchen and saw Asami's secretary Kirishima making some breakfast. He looked at Akihito and bowed. The latter bowed back and looked around.

"Where's Asami?" He asked.

"He left early for work Takaba-san." Kirishima answered. The man was placing the scrambled eggs and toast on Akihito's plate and gestured for the young man to eat.

Akihito fell silent when he heard the secretary. He thought that Asami will be waiting for him to wake up and bombard him with questions he doesn't know how to answer. He even slept late thinking of how he will answer the older man.

"Uhm...do you know what time he will be back Kirishima-san?" 

Kirishima looked at him for a while with expressionless face. The man shook his head no and proceeded in cleaning the kitchen tiles. Akihito knew that this man knows where Asami is but out of loyalty, he chose to be quiet.

Hearing himself say the word loyalty, Akihito was again caught on his own thoughts. When he was with Sudoh last night and the other man was telling him what he feels and when Prosecutor Kuroda was shot protecting him, he doesn't know why everyone will show their devotion to Asami. He has sworn assistance to the man but the passion that he has is nowhere near to what he saw to Sudoh and Kuroda.

The two man showed different intention but of the same devotion. They both revolved around Asami. The other man is willing to take a bullet while the other is more than happy to fire one. The other wanted Asami all to himself while the other is more than content to be useful. When Akihito looked at himself and tried to see where he lies, all he get is a dead tone.

"I will be leaving now Takaba-san. Asami-sam advised that you are free to go anywhere today but please ensure not to lose your bodyguards." Kirishima started to walk towards the door before Akihito processed the words.

"Wait! You mean to say he won't coming back early?" Akihito asked. The older man looked at him for a moment again and said no. Akihito was left at the penthouse more bewildered than before.


	3. What do we do now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihito tried to be busy while contemplating what he will tell Asami but will he get his chance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain is overdrive when using phone and but while on my laptop, my brain just said Buzz....

Akihito was about to fill a pail of water from the kitchen when he heard his phone. Thinking that it was Asami, he immediately dropped the mop that he was holding and went inside his room. He frowned when he saw the name.

"Mitarai?"

"Yo Akihito! Where have you been man? You went MIA and missing the fun from our job!" The man on the other line was shouting on the other phone, which Akihito thought seems normal since he could also hear some loud noise from the background.

"Where are you!" Akihito shouted back. He went back to the kitchen and placed the phone on speaker.

"What?" Mitarai shouted back. The noise from the background grew louder that made Akihito think that the other man walked nearer the source of the noise.

Akihito huffed, losing patience. "Never mind. What do you want?" 

"Ah yes. Ed-chief was asking when you will be back. We have loads of work and we are short of hand." Mitarai answered back. Akihito could tell that his co-worker is trying to walk towards a crowded area since he heard him saying "Excuse me, media coming through..." Akihito then heard a woman's voice "He died so young...poor soul."

These words caught Akihito's attention. "Hey! Where did you say you are now?"

"Eh? I'm in Keio University Hospital." Mitarai said.

"Why are you there?" Akihito asked. He was about to get the mop that fell on the floor since the pail is about to be filled up when he heard a voice on his back and at the same time that Mitarai answered him back.

"Because Sudoh Shuu is dead."

"Someone named Sudoh Shuu was found dead on this hospital with a gunshot on his right temple. They said it was suicide but you know me Akihito-kun, I smell foul play!" Mitarai laughed maniacally after that.

Akihito whirled around when he heard the voice. Asami was standing on the entrance with his hands on his hips.

"Asami..." Akihito whispered.

"What? What did you say man? Hey listen, I gotta go. There are some policemen coming out and I think they are carrying the body. See you later okay?" And with that, Mitarai hung up.

Asami approached Akihito while the young man was staring at the former. Asami reached for Akihito's phone on top of the refrigerator and closed the faucet. When he turned around, he scowled when he saw the young man flinched.

"What, are you afraid of me now?" He asked. Pure coldness could be heard from his voice that woke Akihito from his reverie.

Akihito did not realize that he was clutching the mop with his hands until Asami approached him and pulled his fingers away from the innocent wood. Afterwards, he placed the phone back to its owner and walked out.

Akihito was startled when he saw Asami leaving and immediately followed him. "Asami..." When the older man turned, he stopped on his tracks.

He knew that Asami is mad at him for not providing any explanation last night about his behaviour but what he saw on the yakuza's eyes made his heart and blood cold again. He saw pure hatred and venom.


	4. What if it gets worse?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihito swallowed his fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope comments and ideas are thrown my way. I have finished the story because I don't want to get caught up between the real one and add complications to my idea. Anyway, I forgot to add on my previous notes that Finder series not mine and never will be.

Akihito chose to ignore the way that Asami's eyes looked at him. He has seen this expression many times before and he never backed down. He will not now too.

"Asami..." Akihito muttered. He saw the man behind the bar opening a bottle of whisky. He swallowed his fear and walked nearer.

"If the fear I saw in your eyes means that you think I was the one that killed Sudoh then I will understand. But if the fear is because of you finally understanding the real me---" Asami looked at Akihito with the same fierce he gave on the first time that they met, "---I will be disappointed."

Akihito stopped walking when he heard Asami. The latter looked at him in the same way two years ago. Before Hong Kong, before he was captured and saved from the stalker Onoda and before everything that they have right now happened. The man was looking at him as if he was one of his subordinates that failed to deliver a good news.

"Asami...I...I am not afraid of you." He answered back. The man stopped from pouring the alcohol in the glass and stared back at him. Akihito took this chance to approached Asami and held his hand.

"I was not able to look at you because of what happened at the warehouse while I was being captured by Sudoh. I...I was scared of what I am about tell you. Not to your reaction but to my own realization." Akihito added.

Asami got a confused look on his face but did not say anything. Akihito inhaled deeply to calm his raging heart. He knew that whatever he was about to say will change everything and up until now, he doesn't know if he is ready to take such huge step.

"I will not leave you." Akihito looked straight to the older man's eyes. He showed his seriousness of his face in order for the man to believe him. Actually, he wanted to say this not just for Asami but for himself as well. Stating the fact that he's not going anywhere made him realized that he really doesn't want to go anywhere but to stay with this overbearing and perverted yakuza.

Akihito saw the changes in Asami's eyes. He felt that the man was relieved but since he was not speaking, Akihito can only contemplate.

"There is no need for you to tell me that no matter how many times I escape and run away from you, you will find me and lock me out. Sudoh gave me a choice before and I did." Akihito approached the man and kissed him. He stared deeply at the golden eyes and smiled.

"It has always been a choice for me. I never thought that in reality, I am not fighting you but myself all along. I was scared and until now, I still am." Akihito smiled again and looked at their hands. He brought the man's hand on his lips and kissed it lightly. He felt the caluses and warmth and he knew-this is real.

"I don't want any fairytale. You have proven to me that you are no prince charming and I am not the damsel in distress. I am afraid that you will leave me one day and I have nowhere to go back to." Akihito looked back at the golden eyes and shook his head. "But not anymore. You know why?"

Asami grunted, "Why?"

"Because my fear will never happen." Akihito answered back. "And that is why I made a final choice." 

"Do you want to know my choice Asami?" Akihito whispered.

Asami stared at him too and linked their hands together. The older man stared for so long at the face he learned to crave for so many times no matter how many instances he had it. No matter how many hunger he felt, he will never be satisfied. This is one kind of hunger he will bring even in the afterlife. And he knew the choice. It has been presented to him in a silver platter. And because he is a man that knows how to appreciate small blessings in his life, he will never let this go.

"No." The man simply answered and kissed Akihito's waiting lips.


End file.
